ugly people sure do ruin things
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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