I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
