I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
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i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
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The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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