WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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