Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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