Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
they call him Oral-B. enough said
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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