when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
