Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
