I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
whose ass print is on the piano?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize