He disabled his match.com account in front of me
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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