the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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