he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
