you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
