Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
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I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
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Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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