Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize