does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I didn't notice because vodka
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
