Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
