Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
