"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
