One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
