Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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