I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
