My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
