yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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