Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
