Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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