I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
