I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
now i know why i became what i already was.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
