I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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