She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
