omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
