i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
