The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
