I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
third nipple confirmed
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize