Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
