saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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