The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
