Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
