Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Who wears a wallet chain?!

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(949): View more from California

i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"

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(443): View more from Maryland

shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

wrong number but thanks

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(607): View more from New York

haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

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(239): View more from Florida

Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."

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(312): View more from Illinois

Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on

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(541): View more from Oregon

Our baby is creepy.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

That's how we know it's ours. haha

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