so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
