Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
