i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
