And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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