I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
