Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
