Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
