my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
