Say something about gay babies.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
