someone get that fucking seahorse.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
