drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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