what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
