Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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