I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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