this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
