i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
