So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
