They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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