sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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