It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
