Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
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But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
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can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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