he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Who died my cat blue again?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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